Thoughts/experiences as "THE VISITOR"

For most Sundays of this time on Sabbatical, I have attended many services as the venerated "visitor." Recognizing that some of my thoughts about this may be more related to my personality style I offer them for ponderage. (FYI: I rode the fence on the Meyers/Briggs introvert/extrovert chart. I do have strong extrovert tendencies, but I also gain energy through solitude. I know some of you are choking right now: "Introvert?! I don't think so!!" I actually can gain energy both ways) With that in mind, consider my thoughts about my experiences with a grain of salt, with a raised eye-brow, or ignore them. I can admit that there is the possibility that some visitors look for different things than I. Sigh.

I do NOT like attention when visiting a church. The main thing is: I'm there for the same reason everyone else there is: to worship God. To sing the faith, to hear God's word, to participate in the Holy Meal. We're all there as equals: long time "member", visitor, young, middle-aged, older, single, coupled, gay, straight, balding, thick hair, over-weight, under-weight, extrovert, introvert, all the same: all part of the much bigger picture - God's people living creatively in creation.

What comes off in many places (intentionally or unintentionally ) is that many congregations think the visitor is there BECAUSE OF THEM. There is a tendency to regard visitors as a piece of meat for the "financial and human resources" of the church membership rolls (I actually heard that phrase used in a church some time ago). Not once did I attend a church liturgy because I was thinking about membership. Not once. Yet in some places I was bombarded with commercials about membership. Makes me want to run. If someone is "interested" in that, would it not be obvious to them what to do about that and not be something that warrants mentioning all over the place?

Also - I got so tired of hearing and seeing the word "welcome" and wanted to say out loud: "If you have to say and write it so often, seems like there may be a problem". Just DO it, and do it with the sense of we're all there for the same reason. This was poignantly illustrated by a two-day experience in France. One evening at the faith community in Taize France - overwhelming efforts to say and print the word "welcome" yet I could participate very little in the liturgy, to the next evening in Vezelay France, doing evening prayer with the monks and sisters who never once made eye contact with me, but I was overwhelmed with a sense of welcome into the liturgy. Even the man with the irritating cell phone was not shunned - he too was welcome - evident because no one batted an eye at the rings of his phone or his noisy exit because the focus was God, not him, or the monks and sisters themselves. (Ok, I'm guilty. I noticed him. I need to learn a lesson from the Monks and sisters)

I loved the places where I felt one with everyone there. We all did what was planned (on our behalf) for us to do - no "target" group singled out with any special attention beyond God. Sermons were not laden with insider stories or personal "know me" stories - but were about God. Musical style was unified and expressible by all and not "audience targeted," but rather God targeted, and had purpose in the flow of the entire liturgy, and was truthful to who was there.

Most surprising were my experiences with places that simply did the historic order of liturgy, whether it was a prayer office or the Eucharist. (I know - my Lutheranism is showing!) I could participate - I knew what came up, when, why, and could do ritual with everyone because I felt the larger picture and not a local one. And I could add my practices to theirs without grand-standing. This was especially noticeable when I was in a foreign country and couldn't understand the language very well. It's at places where they "make it up" that things quickly becomes more about them - intentionally or not. And to those who claim following the historic liturgy excludes the visitor, how should one respond? Take the liturgy away from EVERYONE? If a visitor doesn't know what's coming up or understand what's going on, is the response to remove it from everyone? And why assume they don't? We should focus on understanding the power of example, or re-examine what we do and why and evaluate if this is still meaningful.

I feel it will take some years for the Church (ecumenically) to learn what happens when the church puts all the evangelism eggs into one basket: worship, which was such a huge effort in the church during the 1990's. It's a mixed agenda that can harm the body. My personal suspicion is that where this has "worked" (and define "worked" as you wish) there is something else that was also present that really made it appear "successful" (again, define "successful" as you wish - I'm not so sure it was).

True worship can only be that.